Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Water The Odds?

Early this morning, I left my house to play handball in the park with an empty water bottle. I decide since I'm there, I'll fill up from the water fountain in the newly remodeled sitting area next to the tennis courts. As I'm taking a couple sips as I sit it down, I see the coloration of the water looks a little pissy yellow. So I'm worrying is THIS water coming out the filter of the fountain dirty or is it reflecting the colors surrounding it, because as I raise it up again, it looks very clear & clean.
Oh well.
I take it with me to play a full hour game of handball in the tennis court, taking a few sips (after 30 minutes into the game) b/c I'm still apprehensive, but at the same time thirsty. Overall, I didn't drink much of it, b/c I'm leaving for the gym afterwards where I know what I'm getting water-wise.
I get there ready to run on the treadmill & forget to change the water, until I get on the machine.  I sit my I-pod bumping CJ Fly (of Pro Era) on one side & my water bottle on the other. Once again, I notice the color is yellowish again. I'd already started running, so I just let it sit there until I was done. Afterwards, I'm drenched in sweat & thirsty as hell. But I refuse to drink this bottle, no matter how clear it's appearing when I lift it from the surface towards me.
I went to one of the fountains in the gym that I always frequent (it has the coldest, most refreshing taste), shake & poured out the previous liquid, rinsed it out & replaced with the water from that fountain. Rather than go to the next exercise, I decided to test & see if my eyes were playing tricks on me & took the water bottle BACK to where I had it sitting on the treadmill. In the words of Morgan from Walking Dead, "CLEAR."
The lesson learned, I'm never getting water from that park again. But at the same time, it makes me reflect and imagining what the ppl in Flint, MI have been going through for the past few years. It's not like they have the option to go to another fountain. Prayers still going to them.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

April Foolish & Tired

The beauty of being invisible, is that I can say whatever I want in this page & no one would read it. I can spaze out & no one would know. But when I want to be heard, it's crickets & tumbleweed. Sucks I can't have it both ways, but it is what it is.

This would be the first National Poetry Month of April that I'm deciding not to share or post anything. And it's not because of writer's block, b/c I have old writes I can use & edit. It's basically because I'm tired. Tired of feeling like I have to tag ppl to make them see my work after 6 years of sharing my writes daily.  Not including the years prior on MySpace where I was honored as "The Most Slept On Blogger." If cats haven't awaken by now, why the hell I'm still trying to shake them?

I question myself, but always get told I'm overthinking & that I should stick with it. I should write or publish a book.  It's hard to believe when someone can post a "word" & get more attention than shit I spent minutes, sometimes hours.. researching, writing, typing, editing & sharing & be lucky to get a "like." Hate to sound pessimistic, but a lifetime of sacrificing & loyalty to the wrong ppl have made me like this.  Who'd buy my book? My family's too busy waiting for a free copy (as a hook up). Cats on social media tell you what you want to hear to your face & talk slick behind your back, while being entertained by your rants. Hard enough getting Black folks (yeah I said it) to support a Black business & pay what my graphic design work is worth. Buying my book? Please.  Yeah. When I die, I'm sure it'll sell then. My fam would make a killing, while I had to live off my savings account to make it.

As a creative, I have a lot of topics I want to touch on with my writing. But I'm doing enough posting daily facts in one group, trying to step up my hustle as a freelance artist in another, being committed & playing admin in groups putting my all, & be lucky to get half back... making others look good, while I stay in the background.  I'm tired. Tired of working myself to the ground with nothing to show for it but some nice creations.

Well I'm glad to get that out my system. Time to pay some bills.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

The Talent & The Gift

The Talent & The Gift. The more I do this, the more I love creating. Just me, a pad & a pen (& occasional pencil). No rulers, no visual guides. No computer software needed. Just the pictures of ideas in my mind & my left hand. I realize that's a gift. Drawing is a talent of its own & it's something that can be taught & learned. But to reflect what's on your mind straight into the paper using shapes instead of letters. That's a gift. And I thank God for blessing me with it.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Random. Stay Woke. But Gotta Nap on Occasion

In 2016 I didn't paint as many editorial illustrations as I would've liked, after such a rewarding 2015 where I got to rekindle that flame that burned inside me for years before a 9 to 5 robbed me of that luxury. Fortunately I collected enough sketches to conceptualized & rework for that year.
Although I didn't paint a lot in 2016, the first half of the year saw me slaughtering a lot of trees with a series of sketches & drawings I posted every Sunday (not included the other sketches in between.) In addition, I participated on sketching a different random thought every day in the month of October (called by other artists "Inktober.") The art posted above is one of those Inktober sketches I set to color.

The beauty of this was I originally wanted to create a 2016 calendar with my artwork where I got to showcase the new paintings done after being inspired by the projects I created for Rapper Big Pooh's "Words Paint Pictures" art & listening party. Unfortunately due to funds & connections, it was designed, but never left my external flash drive to be printed (among other self-made projects.)

It was cool considering most of the art created addressed a lot of issues involving the Black community, such as school to prison pipeline, racial profiling, high incarceration, Black lives matter, respectively. As a Black man, I am very passionate about those issues. But at the same time, it's frustrating, because at the same time I don't want to keep being the "angry Black man" with my pen or my art. Unfortunately, whenever I create and dwell on whatever's on my mental. And I worry about being labeled & put into that box as if all I do is Angry Black Art.  I don't even like being seen as just a Black artist doing Black art.  But can't deny that I am a Black Man. And after spending a 20 year career in newsprint media environment catering to predominately white clients & having to suppress my own thoughts, visions & identity, I can't ignore it when I step outside those cubicles that kept me mentally chained.

Thankfully, although I didn't get to print the 2016 calendar or got to colorize more artwork, I did get to become more intimate with my pad & treat it as if it was a pictorial diary & tap into other sides of me many rarely get to see, whether personal, comedic, emotional or just randomly being free with the pad. Sometimes we can be too woke, that we forget take naps when needed & then have fun at recess. You're no use to the cause when you're too tired to give your all.

Hopefully a 2018 Calendar will see a pressroom with some light art to go with the heavy content, even if it's just for my wall. 

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Weekly Digital Sketch

The first 3 are random sketches I did straight to digital accompanied by a background I designed a couple months back just for fun (on first 2).

The last one was originally a sketch I inked last year paying tribute to Black women during Women History Month. I decided to recreate & digitally paint it. Those familiar with my Facebook page, it was also one of my daily Sunday Sketches I was providing for the first half of 2016.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Believing When You're Not Seeing It. (Keep It Moving)

Some say it's a waste to continue working out if you're not seeing physical results. I have to disagree. As someone who's lost massive weight at one point, gained it back (luckily never exceeded my previous), plateaued & sea sawed my weight, I went through a phase that I felt working out was a waste, b/c I couldn't get my eating habits in check & felt I wasn't doing enough (due to reoccurring injuries which comes with age, improper workout procedures or wear & tear (twisted ankles, sore neck or lower back problems, pinched nerves, pulled hamstring, etc.)

Even though I was seeing the results, I definitely felt a difference when I stopped for about a month. There was a point I started having chest pains in the middle of the night & waking up to sharp pains, which triggered in stress & paranoia of heart problems.

We may not see the results outside, but you'll never know how helpful it could be internally. I'm not gonna criticize ones regimen, b/c it is common sense that in order for external change, you have to stay committed & work hard to achieve that goal. You have to step up your game, once you hit a certain plateau. But the LAST thing you want to do is stop, give up & give in to what your mirror's projecting.

I've slipped up big time when it comes to eating right (thinking of Krispy Kreme now, but I'm cool. lol). But though it might've restored the fat lost from running 3 miles or doing up hill sprints, those exercises might be the difference between having a stomach ache or having a heart attack. So regardless of personal goals or workout regime, don't give up on trying to improve yourself. #KeepItMoving

*No shots at anyone, just motivation for those actually trying.

Still Waiting, Jay Elect. Where You At?

I think it was around 2007 or 2008. I was sitting around my cubicle working on an intensive automotive ad for one of the dealerships in Macon. While my eyes are focused on the task in front of me, my ears were serenaded by the sounds of boom bap blended with the lyrical stylings of the emcee of my choosing on my I-Tunes traveling through my $15 headphones.

Suddenly I'm interrupted by a co-worker with a burned CD he made for me just off the strength that he knew I'd be one of the few who would appreciate it.  Although I never heard of this dude, Jay Electronica.

Rather than judge prematurely off thinking to myself, "his name sounds like the second coming Freedom Williams of C&C Music Factory" or being disinterested off the strength he's from New Orleans (automatically think of everything "Bling Bling" in gaudy, glittery, glossy album covers) I placed it in my computer to upload it to my library & give it a listen.

I was immediately blown away & disbelief that such a lyricist could come from the same birthplace as Master P, Lil' Wayne & Siilk the Shocker. (no shots, but come on!) His interpretation of Nas' classic, "The World Is Yours" made me an instant fan & couldn't wait for a real album to materialize to really show the new generation what Hip Hop Greatness really looks like without the gimmicks, trends and bullshit.  Just exceptional bar that were out of this world. I was proud when others got to "Exhibit" what I already knew.

But then year & year goes by. A random track or a cameo appearance rolls through. Newer faces in the culture entered to stake their claim battling for that number 1 spot or being future inductees in the legendary G.O.A.T conversations.

But where does that leave Jay Electronica? We just have to stay tune.