I gave up on following Resolutions years ago, and decided to just go with the flow as soon as improvement was in order. But this year was definitely an exception for many factors. 2016 was one of my most depressing years where I've had to take a long look at myself.
Not too long ago, I was a Graphic Designer in high demand at my place of employment and was thankful to see something I've always wanted to do as a child come in fruition. Unfortunately, life happened. My entire department was outsourced. Received unemployment. Got another Graphic Design job, but wasn't as respected as I was at my previous and had to deal with drama & unprofessionalism. Was eventually forced out. Went back to a previous employment where I did multiple jobs (more than expected) on prehistoric equipment and a boss who was a total douche using his position to bully his staff leading me to suffer from high blood pressure for the first time. So I quit to give freelancing a shot. Living off my savings for the past 2 years, while getting a slew of potential clients hitting my inbox requesting freelance work. But disappear, once I request a deposit to get started. Which leads to dealing with the realization I may have to leave the very thing I love & everything I worked so hard for behind me, just to give my savings a break.
But I still smile on social media & around family & friends during the day. Meanwhile hiding the tears I shed at night & eating away my aggressions trying to drown out the suicidal urges that still haunt me. Fortunately, I'm stronger than I was prior & can openly acknowledge it & refuse to allow myself to give in. So no hotline numbers are needed at the moment. Right now, instead of looking at death, I'm too busy working on a rebirth.
I've spent 19 years dealing with print media from newspapers to building magazine prototypes & even producing my own calendars. Although most of my artistry revolved around a computer (which is a huge plus), I'm still having to relearn the differences going from a print platform to a digital one. I'm back getting re-familiar with web designing. For the past 2 months, I've watched tutorials & learned editing & putting together videos for the first time. I've even tapped back into doing animation. These I've never had the chance to do, but had a natural gift for.
In just this short span I'm loving 2017. Right now, instead of dwelling on where I used to be, I'm more focused on where I'm trying to go. I may not know where I'm heading or where I may end up. Bot on the real, one place I can't go is BACK. And that's a good thing.
I'm out (like my 2nd ever produced video below... I love it).
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